About a week ago my dad sent around a text informing all of his kids of next summer's vacation plans. He also indicated that he had a week timeshare vacation they were going to lose, so he and my mom on a whim decided to go to Hawaii from July 16 - July 26. I was jealous, of course, but good for them!
Then, on Friday night, my mom called me (in the middle of my early evening nap). I woke, saw her call, and ignored it because talking to anyone when I'm sleeping is a bad idea for both me AND the other party. When I didn't answer, she called again, and then eventually I woke up to a text message:
"Want to go to Hawaii? Flight is $500. Leaving on Jul16 and returning Jul26."
By this time, I was waking up and text her back: "Haha! Yes... I'm not sure how realistic it is though."
She responded, "You should if you can get away."
Apparently she wasn't feeling like texting. She asked if I was at a party or if I could talk, so I called her back. We talked for a few minutes and then ultimately, I was talked into it. And now, I'm going to Hawaii!
Israel is not happy about it-- thinks it's a bad idea. I told him that he's right-- it is a very bad idea... one that I will contemplate (and enjoy) as I'm soaking up the sun on a sandy beach. I figure it's the last vacation that I'm really going to get in a long while. After the baby comes I won't be able to just pick up and leave town like I've become so accustomed to in the past.
I thought my boss would flip out about me taking so much time off work with such little notice... He didn't really flip out... in fact, given the $33 Million settlement we just pulled in that we'll be getting paid for next week, I got the news that I'll be receiving a "substantial" bonus and a pay raise. SA-WEET!
In other news...
Today is / would be my 5 year wedding anniversary (if I was still married).
Weird.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Thursday, July 1, 2010
on the UP?
I took the day off work today. I wasn't really feeling ill, per se, I was just exhausted. Between the MS, narcolepsy, and now pregnancy... I'm fighting a losing battle with fatigue. AND, I can't take any of my normal medications that usually reduce it and help me get through the day. So after several days working my usual 9-5 and adding a few Slumber Parties in there from time to time, I was absolutely exhausted. I woke up this morning after a night of tossing and turning and made the decision, "Eff working today. I need a day off." So I did just that.
As much as I wanted to just go back to sleep and relax, I got up around 9 a.m. and showered and did the dishes with the intention of making some breakfast. I made pancakes, ate pancakes, left the just-cleaned kitchen messy, and went back to bed. About that time, Israel joined me after his night of work (I hate his graveyard shift job, BTW).
We have been talking and moving back towards being happy together over the past couple of weeks. He's not living with me anymore, and I think that helps us to appreciate each other more and appreciate the time we get to spend together. He has taken to referring to me as two people. ("How are you guys doing?" "... How did you two sleep?" It's kind of cute and amusing at the same time. I preferred that over his new mode that started today-- referring to the unnamed, unborn, and (un-sex-determined) baby as "Baby Raymond." I laughed at it the first time, then quickly put it out there that my baby's name would not be Raymond. It reminds me too much of that dorky guy on TV. Israel asked, "Well didn't dude have a hot wife?" I answered, "Yeah, probably... all TV characters do though... and I think he had a gay brother, too." He didn't really respond to that one, just a pensive, "Hmmm." (And the "Baby Raymond" reference stopped.)
As we were lying in bed talking, suddenly he gets serious and asks, "Can I tell you something?" In my experience, those words usually aren't a precursor into a pleasant topic. So I hesitated, but told him to go ahead. He started it with an even worse opening, "So generally, you know the rules of 'breakup' are that we could do whatever we wanted." (I did know.) "So I thought I should tell you what I did." I may as well have heard brakes screeching to a halt right there. I tried to say, "Honestly, I don't want to know," but he stopped me before I could say anything else... He went on to say that he knew that I wouldn't want him doing that, even though I knew he could, and that if there was any chance of us sleeping together again that I wouldn't want him to have been sleeping around.... that I would want a safe outlet, etc., etc. (All true.) He also prefaced it with saying that he knew that I most likely wouldn't go out and get with another guy because (even when pregnant) I'm not that crazy. (I think he meant slutty.) So after it was clear that he had finished his preface, I finally squeezed it in, "Honey, I don't want to know anything." And he continued with, "Well that was just it. There was nothing. Because I knew you wouldn't want that from me. And I know that you feel like I resent you for wanting monogamy, and although I have complained to some people about it, I don't. Because it's not you-- it's not a problem of yours-- it's a problem of mine. And I want to be the person you want me to be, the person you help me to be. And I want to be the person for you. I can't imagine my life without you in it... well, I can, but it would be like it was before I met you-- detached, lonely, and unhappy. I want you."
How's that for a dramatic and heart-stopping approach to something sweet!? I could have slapped him for making my heart drop like that at first... and he says that I am dramatic!! Wow! On the plus side, I suppose he just knows how to add a little more impact to his words by making me expect the worst and then giving me something WAY better than I had expected. (I should try that sometime.)
The past several days I have felt myself feeling the same happiness I felt right at first with Israel-- that kind of drunken stupid happy you feel when you feel like you are with your soul mate. Of course, since I'm an overemotional uber-hormonal pregnant woman now, that same happiness that usually makes me grin from ear to ear makes me want to cry now.
Go figure.
As much as I wanted to just go back to sleep and relax, I got up around 9 a.m. and showered and did the dishes with the intention of making some breakfast. I made pancakes, ate pancakes, left the just-cleaned kitchen messy, and went back to bed. About that time, Israel joined me after his night of work (I hate his graveyard shift job, BTW).
We have been talking and moving back towards being happy together over the past couple of weeks. He's not living with me anymore, and I think that helps us to appreciate each other more and appreciate the time we get to spend together. He has taken to referring to me as two people. ("How are you guys doing?" "... How did you two sleep?" It's kind of cute and amusing at the same time. I preferred that over his new mode that started today-- referring to the unnamed, unborn, and (un-sex-determined) baby as "Baby Raymond." I laughed at it the first time, then quickly put it out there that my baby's name would not be Raymond. It reminds me too much of that dorky guy on TV. Israel asked, "Well didn't dude have a hot wife?" I answered, "Yeah, probably... all TV characters do though... and I think he had a gay brother, too." He didn't really respond to that one, just a pensive, "Hmmm." (And the "Baby Raymond" reference stopped.)
As we were lying in bed talking, suddenly he gets serious and asks, "Can I tell you something?" In my experience, those words usually aren't a precursor into a pleasant topic. So I hesitated, but told him to go ahead. He started it with an even worse opening, "So generally, you know the rules of 'breakup' are that we could do whatever we wanted." (I did know.) "So I thought I should tell you what I did." I may as well have heard brakes screeching to a halt right there. I tried to say, "Honestly, I don't want to know," but he stopped me before I could say anything else... He went on to say that he knew that I wouldn't want him doing that, even though I knew he could, and that if there was any chance of us sleeping together again that I wouldn't want him to have been sleeping around.... that I would want a safe outlet, etc., etc. (All true.) He also prefaced it with saying that he knew that I most likely wouldn't go out and get with another guy because (even when pregnant) I'm not that crazy. (I think he meant slutty.) So after it was clear that he had finished his preface, I finally squeezed it in, "Honey, I don't want to know anything." And he continued with, "Well that was just it. There was nothing. Because I knew you wouldn't want that from me. And I know that you feel like I resent you for wanting monogamy, and although I have complained to some people about it, I don't. Because it's not you-- it's not a problem of yours-- it's a problem of mine. And I want to be the person you want me to be, the person you help me to be. And I want to be the person for you. I can't imagine my life without you in it... well, I can, but it would be like it was before I met you-- detached, lonely, and unhappy. I want you."
How's that for a dramatic and heart-stopping approach to something sweet!? I could have slapped him for making my heart drop like that at first... and he says that I am dramatic!! Wow! On the plus side, I suppose he just knows how to add a little more impact to his words by making me expect the worst and then giving me something WAY better than I had expected. (I should try that sometime.)
The past several days I have felt myself feeling the same happiness I felt right at first with Israel-- that kind of drunken stupid happy you feel when you feel like you are with your soul mate. Of course, since I'm an overemotional uber-hormonal pregnant woman now, that same happiness that usually makes me grin from ear to ear makes me want to cry now.
Go figure.
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