I left work early and headed to the clinic for my cervical spine MRI. After completing my paperwork, I settled into the waiting room, hoping to get through a few pages of the book I was supposed to have read for school. Unfortunately, I was paired in the waiting room with a couple of very talkative older men. I politely smiled to their comments and responded shortly to their questions. I was not in a talkative mood. The nurse called my name and I anxiously gathered my belongings and limped after her.
The MRI was highly uncomfortable. My claustrophobia caught up with me as I lay in the tight dark tunnel trying to block out the sounds of machinery around me. I closed my eyes and kept them closed through the entire duration. My breathing quickened and it took every bit of concentration I had to keep from hyperventilating. "Krista, you need to hold very still, please," the radiologist's voice came through the intercom system. "Ok," I choked out quickly. Apparently my breathing was altering my image. When the radiologist informed me that I was done, I couldn't get out of that tunnel fast enough.
I pulled in my driveway, she called me back. Apparently the radiologist sees some kind of lesion on my spine or spinal cord (I can’t remember which) and he thinks that’s what’s causing this. She was vague about what it could be, but she knows me well enough to tell me that "it could be nothing" over and over again... yet, she still told me that she had called the neurologist, sent her the results, and the neurologist was going to try to see me tomorrow instead of Monday.
She said that until then, I "grit my teeth and bare it."
So now, I get to sit alone and think of all the horrible things that it could be (and the things that it could be that are not so horrible) and wonder how the hell I’m going to get any of my reading and homework done when my mind is so out of it that I can’t do anything.
I’m tempted to get a bottle and order a pizza and drown my worries.
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